Incredible Verification Of Facts

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.

The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.

He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.

The chef’s claim was approved.

Thanks for reading my blog.
Please comment below and share my link.

Debbie Nicholson

Click here for your Audio link to this blog

Careful Who Approaches You When Out

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran.

The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.

Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store.

The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”

Thanks for reading my blog.
Please comment below and share my link.

Debbie Nicholson

Debbie Nicholson
Click here for your Audio link to this blog

 

The Zimbabwean Bus Driver

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.

Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.

He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.

The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

Thanks for reading my blog.
Please comment below and share my link.

Debbie Nicholson

Debbie Nicholson
Click here for your Audio link to this blog

Let The Boss Go First

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says,
‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’

‘Me first! Me first!’
says the admin clerk.
‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’
says the sales rep.
‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says,
‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’

Thanks for reading my blog.
Please comment below and share my link.

Debbie Nicholson

Debbie Nicholson
Click here for your Audio link to this blog

 

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’

The eagle answered:
‘Sure, why not.’

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

 

Moral of the story: 
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. 

Thanks for reading my blog.
Please comment below and share my link.

 

Debbie Nicholson
Click here for your Audio link to this blog

Watch For Rocks

Driving down a remote road, a motorist sees a sign that says:

“Watch For Fallen Rocks.”

A couple of miles of careful driving later, he spots some pebbles and stops to pick a few up.  Arriving in the next town, the motorist carries the stones into the highway maintenance office.

Placing them on the counter, he says to an offical:

“Here are your fallen rocks.  Now where’s my watch?”

Thanks for reading my blog.
Please comment below and share my link.

Debbie Nicholson

 

Click here for your Audio link to this blog

Twenty Things To Remember

 

Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you too.  Don’t laugh……it is all true…

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01… Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03.. No one expects you to run–anywhere..

04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks  into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14.. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

AND TRY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER …

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Thanks for reading my blog.
Please comment below and share my link.

Debbie Nicholson

 

Click here for the audio file