How Do You Make Friends With A Cat That Is Shy?

 

Like people, cats can be shy. You know yourself about such situations as there have probably been heaps of times when you yourself have tended to stay in a corner when confronted by new people or a new person who you really weren’t feeling comfortable about meeting.

In this type of situation, my best advice is to let them come to you rather than you go to them.  That way, no boundaries are crossed, things are not said causing embarrassment, and lasting memories are not made to you or the cat for the rest of your lives.  I know that sounds extreme, but in a real up close personal situation dreaded moments have been carefully avoided in the most delicate situations by adopting this safe approach.

You might really be interested in this particular cat.  However, if he is not showing any particular interest in you, then contain your disappointment and make yourself at ease in another corner of the room.  By allowing yourself to seem uninterested, then a shy cat can approach you in his own cautious way to check you out without feeling alarmed.  Usually if your meeting with their owner is to span several, several minutes, like an hour or two, then this gives their cat plenty of time to suss you out from way over there. Playing being aloof can be fun, as you can always watch out of the corner of your eye when there are lulls in the conversation – and you both can begin to play the little game between you very subtly.

Eventually he will start to feel safe around your presence in the room and he might saunter out after a while and he might not.  If he does, then make sure that you keep him at arm’s length as he is being very careful to judge what type of person you are.  Maybe his human will enlighten you as to why he is behaving in such a way.  He might be new to the family and maybe been rescued from an abusive situation – who knows?  Everyone has their story and why shouldn’t this cat have their own story.  You probably have lots of them that make up who you are – the same goes for him.

If there is a basket of toys around, then a good thing would be to throw something for him to play with.  His response will either cheer you up or keep you down where you are anyway.  Make sure you throw them away from you, so that there is no risk of interference on your part when he tries to retrieve it.  Rooms are usually wide as well as long and there are doors that lead off them as well – so you have plenty of opportunities to play without seeming to play with him.  No doubt, once the retrieval has taken place, then he will play with it for a while – you will notice when the interest has been lost when he totally abandons it and leaves it alone for quite some time.  Then you know that it is safe for you to get it back yourself and to throw it again.  Whatever you do, reverence her space by holding back on picking it up again.  The last thing you want to do is frighten him back to his corner because you chose the wrong moment to pick it up and take it off him.

If there are toys in the basket that are attached to string or something similar, then be gentle and play that way.  Perhaps the toy can crawl slowly back towards you.  Perhaps the string will go a long way from you and this will give the cat plenty of space to bring out the hunter in him.  Twitching movements and movements that imitate something of stealth are better movements than seemingly forcing him to come too near you.  Have patience – he might just be content to watch the toy moving along and around the ground for a long while before he actually decides I want to play this game.  Obviously something has happened in his past that is making him anxious and nervous around you.  Let him settle down.  Let him calm himself down.  Let him build a trust feeling for you before you make any friendly gestures that could involve you both being in close proximity to each other.

Our daughter has a cat who only knows 4 people: her, her husband, and their two adult children.  They live in an apartment 39 stories off the ground.  He spends his days in their bed or just looking at life outside the window and all the little people and things that move around down there.  He was very shy when we first arrived on the scene for a few weeks holiday.  It took perhaps a week before he allowed us to actually see him eating his food in the kitchen area.  And then it took another few days before he would actually just sit on the carpet near us.  My husband has such a fondness for cats, so he was feeling quite put out that this cat didn’t appear to like him when ALL cats previous to this instinctively came to him ALWAYS.  By the time it was time for us to leave and come home, they had developed a friendship in that the cat would get up on his knee and let him pet him.  So I guess it will be quite a while when we get to visit them again, before we know whether the new friendship will be permanent or was just temporary at the time.

 

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Debbie Nicholson

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